A Little Broken Place…

23 Jun

This afternoon, Colin was a picky eater and wishy washy about napping.  When I told him he could play while Mama eats lunch (because he’d already had lunch which he’d picked at and had been given some snack foods to eat while playing), Colin started crying and was upset.  IMG_2513He doesn’t usually do this when Mama is eating lunch so it was a bit startling.  Then, our dog grabbed his snack bowl and ate his cracker.  Colin was almost inconsolable at this.  I put the dog up and I gave Colin another cracker and loved on him.  I tried rocking him to sleep.  It was heartbreaking to see my sweet boy clutching his cracker tightly and sucking his thumb hard as I tried to rock him to sleep.  Two different times I was convinced he was asleep only to find him awake and starting to cry when I placed him in his crib. 

It was 1:30 by the time our food, dog, and nap dramas were over and I was exhausted and hungry because I’d only been able to eat a few bites of a bean salad.  I made the executive decision that Colin and I would go to McDonald’s.  We both needed to get out of the house and I was tired of dealing with the food issues.  He calmed down and was peaceful and pleasant at McDonald’s.  We both felt better by the time we arrived back home.

I guess the reason I felt compelled to share this posting today is that I want to let folks in the process of adopting know(if they don’t already know) that our Post-Institution children often have some insecurities related to food.  I know some children may hoard food in the house or pack it into their mouths or overeat to the point of making themselves sick.  Some of them may be like Colin and show insecurities over food every once in awhile.  Colin may pick at his food (which makes us think he feels confident that food will be there for him whenever he is hungry) but when he feels like someone (usually the dog) is a threat to his food, he gets upset and becomes more vigilant. 

Despite what some folks may say about adopted children, I do not think they forget every thing they knew of their lives in the orphanages…There are wounds that may surface once they are in their new family or it may take a while for them to surface.  I feel like we must pray continuously for God to heal our children’s broken places (that we may not even be aware of) and to help them learn to trust in our loving care. 

Thanks for stopping by,

Heather

Advertisements

5 Responses to “A Little Broken Place…”

  1. michelle June 23, 2009 at 10:24 pm #

    My hairstylist and her brother are adopted and she has shared some stories about her brother (he was 2 when he was adopted and she was 9 months from the Philippines.). It truly is heart breaking what these children go through in the orphanages.

  2. Kim Abraham June 23, 2009 at 11:22 pm #

    Yes, I agree. Lexi will tell us she is “all done” and refuse to eat aonther bite but as soon as we remove the tray from her high chair she instinctively grabs every last morsel of food that she left on it. Plus, she is like a little bird. Whenever anyone is eating anything in our house, she will walk up to them and open her mouth wide open like a baby bird waiting for its mother to feed it. It’s funny on the surface, but I know this comes from learned behavior at the orphanage where the caregivers would simply shovel their food in with huge spoons. We have seen huge improvements over the past few months though.

  3. Julie E June 24, 2009 at 9:20 am #

    What a sweet picture! He has a beautiful smile.

  4. Lyn Franks June 24, 2009 at 8:31 pm #

    So glad you brought this issue to light. After watching these behaviors SLOWLY diminish in frequency and severity over the past year, I am just now beginning to understand and appreciate how deep these fears and insecurities go. Before we adopted, I would have never believed it would be such an issue for such a long time. I agree with what you said about continuing to pray for healing over these issues. It is important for new adoptive parents to understand the stress food and other triggers can cause our kids. It sure is comforting to know Our Father in Heaven has the power to heal

  5. beBOLDjen July 22, 2009 at 2:12 am #

    Our son has some food insecurities as well. Some weeks they’ll flare up and others they’re a non issue. He was 4 months old when he came into institutional care and 9 1/2 months when he left. That relatively short time (compared to the length of time other children spend in insitutional care) made a HUGE impression even at that tender age. I don’t think we can ever discount the effects of stress and food insecurity in the lives of little ones. Thankfully we’ve seen much improvement over the past 6 mos and are hopeful things will continue in that direction. I echo the previous comment that as parents we will continue to pray for our kiddos and rejoice that God is their/our Healer!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: