Two Words…

3 Aug

Update:  I thought I’d done all but a couple of documents for our region previous to leaving for our first trip.  I just discovered yesterday that a couple of expiring papers we’d started working on from our initial dossier are actually needed pronto for our regional documents (required for court).  Ouch…I was so disappointed at my mistake.  Yesterday afternoon was rough for me…I want to be authentic with you, readers…I cried some and convinced myself that this could damage our chances of being able to return for our son before the end of the year….Something of which I have no proof…Tomorrow, the papers will be mailed off for apostilling and then sent to our adoption agency to send on to whomever is supposed to get them next…Please pray that these papers will quickly get apostilled and to our agency…Pray that I will forgive myself and let go of something I cannot go back and change…I have prayed for forgiveness for overreacting and being so hard on myself for not catching this little goof…We had been waiting on Alan’s new work budget and word of whether I had a new job or not and the documents got put off…After trip one, we forgot that they were still needed….We have found out that our wait for court could be 3 1/2 more months and I think this was weighing heavily on my mind yesterday, too…

This incident brings up a recurring theme that pre-adoptive families face:  there is so much out of our control.  We can be super efficient at getting our required papers done, and we can still make mistakes (because we are human)…and try as we like we absolutely cannot bring about miracles on our own…we can not cause our referral to happen according to our ideal timeline…We can not receive our court date as quickly as we’d like…There are so many other people and other factors involved in the adoption process that it really in a huge exercise in faith. 

As a Christian who is in the middle of adopting, my perspective is that I am being challenged to again let go of any reliance on my strength or abilities…to let go of my expectations and trust that God will continue to be faithful, and HE will provide the strength we lack, and HE totally knows all that is going on in our adoption (here in the U.S. and thousands of miles away in Russia)…We can trust that HE will bring us together as a family…

Does that mean that Alan and I should give up our hope of returning for Colin before the end of the year?  Is that what it is to surrender to God’s will?  I do not think God wants us to give up this hope…I know that if for some reason we do not get a court date before 2009, God will sustain us…However, I think right now God is calling us to have “unwavering confidence”–something I need to exercise when days are quiet and there is no news…and on days when we face frustrating obstacles…

What do I mean by the two words,  “unwavering confidence”?  I feel like God really spoke to me about this concept in this excerpt from Streams in the Desert

We must trust the Lord through the darkness, and honor Him with unwavering confidence even in the midst of difficult situations.  The reward of this kind of faith will be like that of an eagle shedding its feathers is said to receive–a renewed sense of youth and strength.  ( J.R. MacDuff was a Scottish minister and writer who wrote this in the 19th century.)

I also read in Streams in the Desert this week that “our trials are great opportunities, but all too often we simply see them as obstacles.  If only we would recognize every difficult situation as something God has chosen to prove His love to us, each obstacle would then become a place of shelter and rest, and a demonstration to others of his inexpressible power.  If we would look for the signs of His glorious handiwork, then every cloud would indeed become a rainbow, and every difficult mountain path would become one of ascension, transformation, and glorification.” (A.B. Simpson, Canadian minister & author in late 19th century).

So my goal this month is “unwavering confidence.”  I want to honor God through having confidence in Him and His plan for us…I want to look at the difficulties we are facing in this waiting time as opportunities for God to demonstrate His love and possibly draw others to Him…

Father God, please help me to have “unwavering confidence” that you will bring our son home soon and that you will  renew our strength as we trust in You…Help us to rest in You during this difficult waiting time…May others see Your power, Your glory, and Your love demonstrated through our waiting time and ultimately the joining of us as a family of Mama, Papa, and Colin….Amen.

Thanks for stopping by,

Heather

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3 Responses to “Two Words…”

  1. Julie E August 3, 2008 at 8:17 pm #

    Amen. Unwavering confindence, that is my goal to during this waiting period. Thanks for the wise words. I always enjoy reading your blog and your “Streams in the Desert” inserts. Praying you receive the apostilled papers quickly and correct.

  2. cm August 3, 2008 at 8:25 pm #

    Heather – it always happens in his timing – whether you are perfect or not! And, while I certainly did not enjoy the pace of his plan for us – in retrospect – after a lllooonnnggg wait between trips – I can see it’s perfection with such clarity.

    Definitely take care of yourself – and, forgive your bless-ed humanity.

    You’re in my prayers.

    cm

  3. Amanda McCaleb August 4, 2008 at 12:53 pm #

    love the little hands and feet shots! You just exude growth in every posting. I don’t know if you can see it, but there is more than receiving a son going on here. Someone’s daughter and son are growing in character and beauty in their Father’s eyes! Amanda

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