Answered Prayer and Emotional Roller Coasters…

18 Feb

Okay, I was on quite an emotional roller coaster this afternoon from about 12:30 until about 5:00.  The principal at my school let me know that she needed to talk to me after school and I immediately jumped to the conclusion that it meant that I wasn’t going to get to finish the school year in my temporary position.  She was not able to talk to me until I was heading out the door to go home to take my doggie out to potty.  She told me she’d call. 

Whooohhh!!! This is where the ride gets even crazier….I had an emotional melt-down when I was in the confines of my home.  I cried and longed for my husband (on business trip), my mom, and God’s strength.  I just couldn’t fathom having to leave my kiddos who I have learned to love and care about so much and with whom I’ve worked so hard….I finally picked up (a bit reluctantly!) my devotional, Believing God, by Beth Moore.  By this point I was in the eerily calm stage of my ride. 

 Lo and behold, I was to the section where you write out a prayer response.  I responded to the prompt, “You search the world over for people with faith.  Make me one of them, Lord. Teach me to trust You with an expectant faith when I am tempted to doubt.  (Ouch!  That was convicting…I was being called to trust God and not my paranoia and hazy circumstances.) 

I wrote the following honest prayer:  ” I long to consistently trust You with an expectant faith.  At this moment as I wait for a phone call regarding my job’s future, all I feel is doubt.  Lord, give me strength no matter what I find out.  Help me to trust that you will provide for us financially and somehow help us to bring our baby home from Russia.  I’m feeling hopeless….(whoah!!  God interrupted that with the phone call.  In less of 5 minutes of just pouring my soul out to God and asking Him to overcome my unbelief, He did!)

God has provided me with the privilege of finishing the school year with this group of kiddos.  Oh, I know that I am far from perfect as a teacher, but I will get to continue working with them and building relationships with them.  What an incredible gift!  I will be considered when they open the job up for hiring this spring.

Thank you, Lord, for overcoming my doubt with a big wallop of AMAZING provision and grace that I don’t deserve.  Help me to remember this God moment when I am tempted again to doubt so that I might be strengthened in faith and praise you.  I love you, Lord!

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